In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops