It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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The Holocaust

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Wumbo

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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