i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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shut up kobe!

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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