Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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MAKE

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Your mom went to college

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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