What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

whats yellow after cani...nathan

69

Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

Yo mama so old, she might die soon

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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