what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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this website even though its hilarious.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Well this is pointless.....

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops