What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops