I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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willam dafoe

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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