What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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Hi

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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