A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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