A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

MAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +7

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops