Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Buzi vagy!

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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