A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

G

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops