what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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