how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I like Pi. It can make circles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock no no you go now i clean

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops