Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Basically

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Poop

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops