A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

thumb_up thumb_down

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

thumb_up thumb_down

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down

mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

thumb_up thumb_down

im not black, im Joseph Kony

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops