What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Gretta has five legs? -no

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops