How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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