Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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Rebecca Black

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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