A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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You bumder!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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