How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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no really what are ur names?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Im cute hehehee

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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