What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the old man say? Im old

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops