Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Black people being friendly.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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you just read an anti-joke

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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