I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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okay so theres this guy.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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