What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

thumb_up thumb_down +29

No soup for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops