whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

were at work systems r down

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

The game.

When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

willam dafoe

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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