There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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