Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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