Whose your daddy? Not me

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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whats worse than school? Summer school

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Bags of delicious poop.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Justin Bieber

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops