a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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