Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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