Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops