Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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68

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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