What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops