What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Christianity.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops