How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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