Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

Gay republicans

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

osama bin laden is dead

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

5 Italian guys from Long Island

Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

POOP.............................................. ITS THE FUNNEST WORD OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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