DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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