What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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no really what are ur names?

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kkkk

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Im cute hehehee

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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