- Anti Joke

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

Nero7 Here, unless you know what Neronism is, you will be wasting your time by reading this. Dear those of you that have proven yourselves worthy and willing to undertake my teachings and succeeded, as you know this is your last test, it is a simple one if you use your head (and read this at this hour, if not then you have made a lot of effort for nothing) Many have failed this last test: You are the ones insisting on meeting the "true leader" "the one" but too many refuse to believe I am the leader once you meet me. Sure, I look as if I am 19-22 or something, but since this is horsehead network, a pretty shitty site to be honest, I will admit here for the first and last time online, that I am in fact 37 years old. And if you are still unwilling that I came up with all the principles, which you now know less than 3 percent about, then do not bother showing up at all, as I have lost too many talented individuals which leave in frustration believing that I am my own errand boy, or that even now that I carry the "Mark of Nero" refuse to believe that my teachings cannot be real because they are not written by a 130 year old "mystic" that has spent his whole life in the mountains coming up with this. As for "the mark of Nero" (Used to and still hate the name but it caught on and has become my trademark) even now people wont believe that I am the founder and leader behind it all, I mean who else has the lower half of his (or for that sake her) arm replaced with a black prosthetic made of steel? It even has the code engraved into it, and the writings clearly stating NERO7 On one side, and Néron (Spanish for Nero) on the other? So for those disappointed that I am not an ancient mystic, and as thus believe that concepts such as hypnosis is a "mystical, magical, ancient or religious concept that only "a few chosen one can learn", then you should by this point know that there is nothing spiritual, mystical and nonetheless that I hate religion with a passion... I under these circumstances I can not announce which people have qualified, but considering we where surprised there where those willing to undertake and nonetheless qualify here at all, I expect you all to wait at home tomorrow, where you are to be given more instructions by calling the number you should have learned to decipher trough this (sigh OVERLY LONG statement, forgive me, I have serious issues with my jaw after a fight, my physician claims he can do nothing, and as such I fired him, and hope I find a competent replacement one among our ranks) As for those of you that did not qualify, you have my sincerest apologies and will instead receive a full refund for your traveling expenses, and a complementary donation as thanks for trying, know that you have not failed a test, but are those of you which have proven yourselves unable to do the necessary effort, and those of you that have refused, or are simply unable to make the necessary changes, (or if you prefer, sacrifices) in order to join us. Ps: Please stop asking what it costs to join... I already told you that I have no need for your money, and as hard as some of you seem to believe that is... Lets just say I got enough myself, and my followers while given guidelines, are all responsible for managing their own financials for now, we do not provide charity either, with that said, the ones lacking assets, will be given the offer to work for me, under strict yet fair circumstances. PSS: I mean it, if you have already lied about your use of marijuana "because it is legal and natural" know that I PERSONALLY hate its use, and will PERSONALLY kick your ass out of MY order myself... As for Scientologists, do not even bother, I have eyes among your ranks, and we will keep watching. (Nero apologizes for his lack of manners, frustration, spelling errors and to quote him directly "all of that shit" during this last message, as far as our physicians can tell, he does indeed have several fractures on his jaw which might have led to an infection of unknown degree and in addition yet unidentified issues with his neck, both which according to our top physicians have led towards serious sleep deprivation, and if I might personally add from personal observation: Yes his physical health and mental performance has indeed seriously declined, as his right hand person, I have decided to exclude his presence from your introduction into our order. With that said, his condition is stable and he will indeed be with you during the days you will stick around, as much as he dislikes the use of painkillers, the physicians and the serious decline of productivity in his absence, has left him with no choice but to cooperate with the physicians advice.

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

Hey how is your wife and my kids

Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

Horse.

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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