What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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knock knock

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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