My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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my egg roll

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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