- Anti Joke

i read the terms of service when i posted this

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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