Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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