What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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sure!

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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