Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

A gay man watches football.

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

what is orange? an orange

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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