Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

rocky is staring at us from outside...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are annoying? Ads.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops