I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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