Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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